My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
