we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
