Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
