That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
