final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
