i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Im part way to drunk.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
