I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
