So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
