i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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