Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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