Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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