I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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