Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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