I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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