Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
