I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
