I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
