you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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