I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
