Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
