Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
