? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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