false alarm. still invincible.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
this boner is exhausting
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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