Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
