I wish I could punch you in the face.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
