hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
