i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
