So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
