Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
