so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
