your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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