we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
