idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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