What a fucking waste of an outfit
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize