It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
