Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
