Operation Purity has been aborted
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
