I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
