If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I am naked and annoyed.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
