Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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