Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I came so hard my ears popped.
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