Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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