Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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