i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize