i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
