I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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