You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
