I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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