So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
