It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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