Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
