covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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