She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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